We create New Year’s Resolutions as a way to start over and maybe even create a whole new us, but often, those promising resolutions fail before they ever really begin. Perhaps, we are just making the wrong resolutions.

What if there was one New Year’s Resolution that had the inherent ability to completely transform our lives? Instead of changing or improving something, what if we went to the core of all issues and we resolved it once and for all? What if you could reclaim your full connection to Who You Really Are?

Most of us operate in a perpetual state of disconnection to who we really are: aka higher self, source self, true self or whatever you may call it. Many of the challenges and issues in our lives could beresolved by simply getting connected and staying connected. Of course, we wouldn’t be alive if we weren’t connected at some level, but there is a big difference between minimal connection and full connection. When we are fully connected, we are aligned with something greater than us, and we are in sync with the natural rhythm of the universe.

When you are connected to the source of who you really are, you know it, because life flows with ease and grace. You can create what you desire, and you are joyful, peaceful and abundant.Everything in your life is a direct result of being connected or not connected. When you set your intention on getting connected first and foremost, you will also align with the realization of other resolutions that you may desire.

The less connected you are, the harder it is for the universe to answer your hopes, dreams and prayers – not because you are less deserving. You are always deserving, but rather because you are not plugged in and the energy cannot flow – therefore what you desire cannot manifest in your life. Manifestation is the flow from thought to thing. The more connected you are, the easier thoughts can flow into things. In other words, the easier and quicker the universe can deliver your dream.

You have innate control of this connection – you are the captain of your ship and you can consciously make choices, on a moment to moment basis, that either connect or disconnect you.

If your resolution is to connect to who you really are, this is not a one-time thing. You must intentionally make this connection every day, until you reach an energetic and emotional threshold where that connection clicks for good. It does take effort, but once you fully connect, it is easy to stay connected and, in fact, life becomes effortless. This is what we have all been seeking.

The key to this resolution is to make your connection to your Real Self the most important aspect of every day, and to make your relationship with your Real Self the most important relationship that you have – because it is.

It is extremely beneficial to have a practice, such as breath-work, meditation or yoga, that helps connect you to your source-self, but this article is not about that; I will leave your personal practice up to you. This article is a step by step guide that will show you how to wake up, get connected and stay connected in real, every day, life.

If you haven’t been living a connected life, at first it may feel uncomfortable or challenging to get connected, but that is only because you are not accustomed to it, but keep going. After a while, disconnection from who you really are will be so obvious and uncomfortable that you will stop everything in order to get connected.

When you do feel dis-connected, pause what you are doing, and partake in whatever is necessary in order to get reconnected. A common excuse is, “I don’t have time,” but that is like saying I don’t have time to find my car keys so I will walk thirty miles to work. Your connection to who you really are is the key to your full awakening, and creating the life that you dream, desire and deserve. Nothing is more important.

Symptoms of disconnection include: fear, stress, overwhelm, worry, feeling unloved, unworthy, alone, and basically any emotion that feels uncomfortable. Signs that you are connected include: feeling exhilarated, creative, joyful, engaged, enthusiastic, peaceful, loving, and feeling really good for no external reason at all.

Your New Year’s Resolution Program

Connecting to who you really are does not happen overnight. Despite what we may hope and believe, spontaneous awakening is not the norm. Waking up and getting connected requires consistent intention and attention over a period of time. To support you best, I have created a 12 part guide, with each section providing an essential key that will help you get connected and stay connected.

Make sure that you bookmark this page so that you can come back here often, in order to continue this powerful process of making your resolutions into realities.

On the path to connecting with your Real Self there is no failure – so just do your best, and remember each day is a new day, and you have unlimited “do overs.” Above all, be kind to yourself, as you use this guide to support your journey to awakening to Who You Really Are!

New Year’s Affirmation – I resolve to become WHO I REALLY AM!

1. Master Your Mind

Your greatest resource is not time, money or investments. Your greatest resource is your energy. Not just the energy necessary to get through the day, but rather the vibrational energy that makes you who you are. The universe in which we live is one of vibration, and vibration is also what creates each of us.

Your vibrational energy always measures somewhere on a scale between high and low. On the low end of the scale, one is down or depressed. On the high end of the scale, one is radiant – life shines brilliantly through the one whose vibration is high. There is a direct correlation between your vibration and how connected you are. When you are disconnected, your vibration is low, while the more connected you are, the higher your vibration. Intentionally raising your vibration is a powerful way in which to get connected, so this is where we will start on your journey to being who you really are.

Thought is key.

If we were to reverse engineer human vibration, we would observe that our vibration is effected by our emotions, and our emotions are precipitated by our thoughts. Therefore, we can say that thoughts influence vibration. This is great news, because our thoughts are really the only thing that we have any control over. Since you cannot think negative thoughts and have a positive vibration, the first call to action is mastering your mind.

Your thoughts and imagination are priceless technology and you are meant to be the controller, but if you don’t take intentional command of this internal technology it is easy for outside sources to take over. Reclaiming your mental powers might be new to you, so don’t get discouraged if it feels like your mind has a mind of its own or your thinking is like a runaway train.

It does take time and practice to master your mind, but there is nothing in the world of greater value in order to raise your vibe and get connected. You cannot expect anything in your life to change or improve until you claim the most important power that you have – your power to think and your discernment in what thoughts to believe and give energy to through your attention.

Resolving to change negative thinking can be overwhelming, but you don’t need to change all your thinking at once in order to experience a shift. Simply, begin by eliminating “that one negative thought” – you know the thought. It is the repetitive negative thought that you think every day. The one that brings you down and makes you feel bad. Be careful not to replace this one thought with an equally debilitating thought. Once you have mastered this one thought, move on to negative thought number two, and so on….

Maybe there is a series of negative thoughts that you can group together and choose to eliminate, for example, judgmental thoughts. Because judgment excludes, rejects and pushes away, it is a quick method for disconnection. Sometimes we use judgment to motivate ourselves or others, but it is ineffective because it actually de-motivates – you cannot be motivated when you are not connected.

The way to release judgment and most negative thinking is simply allowing yourself to be who you are, exactly as you are now, and allowing others to be who they are. You don’t have to accept anything about anyone, simply allow, and see what happens. As you simply watch your thoughts, you become the Watcher of Thought – a non-judgmental observer who is closely aligned with your higher self. In this way, you can begin to unmask the ego.

Remember, thoughts are not things until you believe them. It is up to you to believe thoughts that support you and release thoughts that keep you asleep.

Don’t under estimate the Power of Positive Intention. For example, practicing gratitude automatically shifts your thoughts in such a way that your vibration naturally rises, and you become connected. Just as judgment quickly disconnects you from your Self, gratitude is a powerful path to connection.

It is very helpful to notice what thoughts make you feel connected and what thoughts immediately disconnect you. If you can track your thoughts and understand the direct relationship between thoughts and connection, you have gained an immense power that will allow you to become master of your mind – which is exactly the way the Real You intended it to be.

2. Free Yourself

Your connection to who you really are is intrinsic and guaranteed. There is really nothing to do in order to connect. In fact, the real secret to connection is undoing all the things, thoughts, stories and beliefs that have disconnected you because they are out of alignment with who you really are. In order to reclaim your connection you must free yourself and everything that has interfered with that connection.

Freeing yourself means Letting Go.

Letting go is an unraveling process, and you can begin anywhere in your life. You can practice letting go of things that no longer serve you. You can let go of relationships that no longer support you. Or, you can let go of everything – every day. Letting go does not mean that you must go off and live in the woods; in fact, you don’t necessarily have to give away anything when you let go. In letting go, you are letting go of attachment – to anything that has imprisoned you, in any way.

Say good-bye to what no longer works.
Let others off the hook.
Throw out that one excuse that keeps you stuck.
Forgive yourself and others.
Drop disempowering beliefs.
Release shame.
Let go of control…

If you are honest with yourself, you already know what needs to be released.

For years, I went through a process of mentally letting go of everything in my life, including my cherished children and even my life’s purpose, but in letting go, all my relationships improved and my life took on a greater clarity. In letting go, I freed myself energetically and emotionally, and as a result, I got plugged in to a higher way of living and relating to others – and even myself.

We are not meant to grasp onto life. Life is meant to be lived through us, and the only way that can happen is if we let go. Letting go is not giving up. Just the opposite. When you let go, that which you truly desire can come to you in the best possible way.  So, don’t be afraid to let go. In letting go, you automatically connect to your true self and then everything good can flow to you in ways that you never could have imagined. Letting go is magic. Yes, it takes practice but you can do it.

When you completely let go, you are instantly connected. Try this for even five minutes a day. Let go of everything and see what happens.

3. Be True to Your Self

If you are trying to be someone other than who you are, you immediately disconnect from who you really are. The more your false self operates in your life, the more disconnected you become, and the lower your vibration.

You are a special and unique being in this world and you are meant to express your style and creativity. The more you allow yourself authentic expression, the more connected you are and the higher your vibration. This is the year to be yourself and create what you truly want to create.

Do you have a Grand Dream for your life? Your dreams are the means in which your higher self speaks to you, by presenting you with the blueprint for your best possible destiny. The more you follow your dreams the more connected you will become.

Now is the time to use your voice. You cannot be your greatest or truest self without speaking your truth. When we stay closed and hide our truth, we cut ourselves off from evolving and becoming who we really are, while resolving to speak your truth gives you the ability to shine and teach others how to shine as well.

In order to connect to yourself, it is essential that you become Self-full. Most of us have been brainwashed to believe that putting yourself first makes you selfish, but this is furthest from the truth. When you put everyone before you, you become depleted and have little to give. When you resolve to put yourself first, you become someone who takes care of themselves to such a high regard that you have an abundance of love, clarity and energy for everyone else.

Don’t forget to have fun! A huge part of being yourself is having fun and doing things that make you feel good. In feeling good, you get connected because who you really are is joyful; so every time you reach for joy, you reach for your true self. What is that one thing that makes you feel connected more than anything else? For me, it is skiing deep, fresh powder through the trees. Sounds crazy, maybe, but this is where I “lose myself” and I get plugged into my Self. What is it for you? Walking in nature, music, dancing, tennis, sky diving, gardening – whatever it is, do your best to make it a regular practice because it is an essential shortcut to your connection.

There will come a time – once you become completely connected, you will become blissfully Self-Less. In becoming Self-less, all your needs and desires are fulfilled and you can put everyone first without compromising or sacrificing yourself in anyway. The path to getting there is through being Self Full, for as long as it takes. Now, you have some leverage to truly take care of yourself.

4. Open Your Heart to Receive

When we close our hearts, we disconnect from who we really are, and the more we open our hearts the more connected we become – the more love flows to and from us, and the higher our vibration.

Our first defense in protecting ourselves from real or imagined threats is often closing our hearts, but staying closed to the world is exhausting and counter-productive because it cuts off the energetic flow of who we really are. Yes, you do become vulnerable when you open your heart, but you also become strong and powerful – and most importantly, you stay connected.

It is not possible to authentically give or receive when our hearts are closed. Only through an open heart can we give unconditionally and without attachment, or needing something emotional in return. Often it is easier to give than receive because we must be even more open and vulnerable in order to fully receive. We are talking about receiving from others, as well as, receiving from the universe. Of course, the universe gives to us through the channel of those in our lives, so, if you cannot openly receive from others, you are also not receiving the good that you seek from the universe.

When your heart is closed, your flow is blocked, and you may experience overwhelm, exhaustion, resentment, and even prosperity issues in all areas of your life. By learning to receive, you allow yourself to get back into the flow of the universe which is always in a perfect cycle of giving and receiving.

This is the time to practice opening your heart to receiving. Notice all the places in your life that the abundant and loving universe is giving to you – and really accept these gifts. The more you can receive the more Life has to give.

Don’t worry so much about the giving part initially. Giving happens organically from an emotional state of self-fullness. When we are full, we overflow with the desire and means to give abundantly to the world. The problem has been that we have been taught to give before we have anything to give. If you are in need, and you give, you create more need for yourself – because you become depleted.

The key to giving is first receiving by plugging into the infinite flow of the universe.

Close your eyes, breathe, and imagine the energy of light flowing from the Infinite through the crown of your head and filling your whole body, and every cell in your body – with pure love.

5. Own Your Worth

Who you really are is unconditionally worthy, so as soon as you question, or try to prove your worth, you disconnect from your Self.

The world cannot, and will not, give you worth, because worth cannot be given. In fact, the search to prove your worth disconnects you from your intrinsic worth. I won’t get into all the reasons why most of us go through life feeling unworthy. It is enough to say that life programs us in this way, and that programming causes us to stay asleep and disconnected, but that program can be turned off, with your intention to do so.

You cannot be connected and question your worth at the same time.

Owning your worth is much simpler than it sounds, because there is really nothing to do. In fact, it just requires that you stop chasing the elusive carrot on the stick, by taking a permanent break from seeking worthiness. Claiming your worth is an undoing process, and it doesn’t happen overnight, but you can “un-do it” and the reward is great.

First, notice all the ways in life that you might be trying to prove your worth. Just notice them – without judging yourself. Self-judgment is another way we disconnect ourselves, so skip the self-judgment and just observe.

The next step is beginning to dis-entangle your identity and your life from issues of worth. You dis-entangle by taking your energy and attention away from it – and releasing all the stories you tell yourself about your worth. Giving energy to worthiness feeds and perpetuates the issue.

Remove your energy from worthiness and unworthiness loses power and dissolves.

The bottom-line is unworthiness is an illusion, therefore, trying to prove worth is living a lie. We have been trying to heal feelings of unworthiness by “being more and doing more,” but you don’t overcome the lie by trying to fix the lie. You overcome the lie (illusion) by withdrawing your energy.

You resolve the issue of unworthiness by turning your back on it – over and over again, for as many times as it takes, until it is gone forever.

We are talking about emotionally detoxing from unworthiness, and ending the cycle of “not enough.” We are talking about releasing yourself from an imaginary prison that has probably effected your whole life. The thing is, no one is keeping you in this prison, and only you have the keys to open the door and the needed courage to step out.

Knowing and owning your unconditional worth as a powerful and special being in the universe plugs you in, and aligns you with a high vibration. When you are no longer pursuing paths or people in order to feel good about your-self, you become empowered and connected. You also become free to live your life as the Real You intended to live.

Imagine how your life will change from a state of Knowing Your Intrinsic Worth.

6. Claim Your Power

There is a direct correlation between owning your power and your connection to who you really are. The more you own your power, the more connected you are. When you give your power away through self-sacrifice, not speaking your truth, putting yourself last, doing one thing in order to get another, not following your inner guidance, hiding behind others or repressing or diminishing yourself in any way, you immediately disconnect.

A huge clue to understanding where you give your power away is to notice where you give your energy away and where you become emotionally drained. The places in your life where you feel as if you are losing energy, are likely the same places where you are giving away your power. Is it in a relationship, work situation, organization, etc…? Maybe you own your power in some situations or relationships but not in others. You give your power away anytime you believe that someone has something that you need, and you alter your behavior in such a way that you compromise your integrity. If you could “get out of your own way,” your intrinsic power would flow to you – and through you.

You get out of your own way by “not doing” all the things you do that stop the flow of this infinite power. This power naturally flows until we do something that impedes the flow. Your thoughts, beliefs and actions are so powerful that they have the ability to cut you off from this immense Power Source. That should show you how powerful you really are; you have the power to stop the flow of the universe in your body and in your life!

If you listen, your inner voice will tell you exactly where you are not standing in your power and being true to yourself. This time is dedicated to listening to that all-knowing voice and taking inspired action in your life that allows you to reclaim your power, thereby connecting to who you really are.

Above all, do not give your power away in exchange for anything, including love, approval and rewards, or to avoid conflict. When you give your power away, you disconnect and nothing and no one is worth the loss of connection to who you really are.

7. Power of Choice

You cannot be awake and stay connected without exercising your power of choice. Your power to choose is your power to consciously create your life. When we don’t consciously choose, life chooses for us and we allow the world to keep us asleep.

Being awake and connected to who you really are means that you must make conscious choices in your life. This can be as simple as choosing what thoughts to believe. When you remember that no one can control what thoughts you think, and what thoughts you believe, your power to choose exponentially expands.

When you make conscious choices, through your thoughts, intentions and inspired actions, your life responds accordingly and you become aligned with not only who you really are, but also with your highest and best possible destiny.

The Power of Choice has two “secret weapons” – the power to say yes and the power to say no.

The Power of No!
Giving yourself permission to say no allows you to set boundaries in your life – to do what you want to do and not do what you do not want to do. The choice to say no allows you stay in alignment, and in integrity, with who you really are. When you fail to say no, when you really want to, you immediately disconnect from your Self, and your vibration lowers. This is why if feels so bad when we don’t follow that inner guidance.

The Power of Yes!
Virtually everything you desire that you don’t already have exists outside your comfort zone. Saying “Yes” allows you to bridge the gap from where you are to where you want to be. As you follow your inner guidance by saying yes, you might experience some discomfort at first, but as you follow the lead of your higher self, you will become more connected to yourself and to life.

Every choice should be prefaced with the question, “Will this disconnect me or connect me?”

If your number one intention is to be connected, your choices become crystal clear.

8. Give Yourself Time

Imagine a life where you have more than enough time. Here is a real-life magic trick; when you slow down and get off the adrenaline roller coaster, you will discover that everything still gets done and maybe even gets done better. We think that time is the same for everyone, all the time, but this is an illusion. Time morphs according to our thoughts and feelings at any given moment.

When you slow down, life slows down.

Because life responds to your lead, you must give to life what you want in return. A rushed life is a mirror for rushed energy. If you want more time, you must align with a feeling of having “all the time in the world.” This might also mean that you stop measuring your life by ticking years, and you consciously choose to become Ageless.

The key to creating more time is being present in the moment.

When you are present, you are connected. It is impossible to have one without the other. A quick fix to getting connected at any moment is to become present. Stop what you are doing. Take a deep breath. See, hear, smell, taste, feel – drop into now. Being present is an extreme sensory experience. When you are present, sight improves, hearing heightens, taste is delicious and your sense of touch and being touched is sensational.  Presence precipitates bliss, peace and even ecstasy.

9. Inner Guidance System

How you feel at any given moment is your inner guidance system communicating with you. Everyone has an inner guidance system (intuition, gut feeling, sense of knowing), but many of us have been “trained” not to listen, but that training has taken us away from one of the most important gifts that we have. Your Inner guidance system is like your telephone to who you really are. If you want to be connected, then you must use this “phone system” on a daily basis.

Your inner guidance system speaks to you through emotional energy.

Because who you really are is joyful, moving in the emotional direction of joy moves you closer to connecting to your Real Self. If you are in emotional pain, in any way, it is an indication that you are thinking thoughts that are not aligned with thoughts that your Real Self would think, and the pain you feel is a result of disconnection. It is also that pain that will eventually cause you to let go of the lower vibration thoughts that create separation – and eventually you will move toward feeling better. This is your Real Self navigating you by means of your inner guidance system.

Often we come to crossroads in life and we don’t know which way to turn, but your inner guidance system does and it will guide you through the form of tangible energy; if you follow this energy you will always be guided. In other words, when we are meant to take inspired action or move in a certain direction, we have the physical energy to do so, because the flow of the universe connects with us and through us to give us tangible energy. You can even imagine different choices and feel if you have the energy or not, before ever taking action. If you lack energy to move in a certain direction, listen to this insight.

Forcing yourself to do something when it doesn’t feel right immediately disconnects you, while listening to that wise inner voice, strengthens your connection to who you really are.

Your inner guidance system will tell you when you are connected and when you are not. Just pay attention to your feelings, and if you are not connected, ask yourself how to get connected, or what you need to “stop doing” in order to get connected. The more you listen, the stronger your intuitive voice will become.

In order to hear your voice, quiet down and be still. You cannot hear your voice in the midst of outward chaos or inward chatter. It is in your highest interest to spend time every day with the intention of listening to your Wise Self.

10. Master Your Emotions

Our emotions drive us and they are directly responsible for our vibration, and therefore, whether or not we are connected.

There are two primary elements to mastering your emotions. The first is meeting your own emotional needs and the second is owning your emotional reactions.

Give to yourself what you have been seeking from others:

Do you desire acceptance, understanding, appreciation, compassion? Whatever it is, give it to yourself. If you need others to meet your emotional needs, you give your power away, and you disconnect from who you really. Being emotionally needy lowers your vibration – this is why it feels so bad, and rarely even works. How can the universe meet your emotional needs, if you are vibrating at a low level where the high vibration of love cannot easily flow? Ask yourself, what emotional need am I lacking? If it is appreciation, for example, set your intention to appreciate yourself, and take inspired action that supports self-appreciation. You might also want to give appreciation to others as well – the more you give something away, the easier it can come back to you.

Give up emotional addictions:

What is your most common reaction when things go wrong? Frustration, impatience, guilt, regret, etc…? What you may not realize is that when we develop emotional patterns of reacting certain ways, we become magnets for situations that cause us to react those ways. First determine your emotional addiction and then make the choice not to react in this way despite provocation. At first, you may still experience situations that provoke the addicted reaction, but after days or weeks, you will have broken the emotional addiction and life will respond by no longer irking you in that same way.

Here is a challenge: Instead of responding with your personal emotional addiction when things go wrong, what would happen if you responded with the emotion that fulfills your emotional need. For example, if your addiction is frustration and your emotional need is understanding, instead of getting frustrated when things go wrong, you respond with understanding.

Finally, the Magic of Love is always available to you. By choosing love, you immediately connect because who you really are is love. The more you give love, the more life will love you in return. If you only do one thing this year, let it be to Practice Love.

11. Pay Attention to Life

What is fundamentally you is not separate from the outside world. You are everything. You are the whole universe – every flower, every molecule, all the good and all the bad. You are not just a temporary extension of life, you are the infinite expression of life itself. Believing that we are separate from life alienates us from the very life that we are. Waking up to who you really are, means waking up to life – your life.

Many of us go through life asking for what we desire, and this is fine, but do we ever stop to ask, “What is life asking of me?” Did you know that life is speaking directly to you every hour of every day, but most of us are oblivious to this two way conversation?

Often, we want to know what is in our subconscious minds, but there is no mystery to this, because your subconscious mind is constantly and accurately projecting itself out onto the screen of your life. The key is to pay attention to your life. What would happen if you resolved to pay attention to your life?

When you drop your rationalizations and justifications for who you are, or for life being the way it is, what is your life telling you? Who is life asking you to become?

By paying attention to your life, you have the power to receive valuable information – making your life the best it can be. The more connected you are to life, the more connected you are period.

Take time to really listen. Imagine that life has a voice – what is life saying to you now?

12. Take 100% Responsibility

Waking up also means that you focus on the areas of your life where you are not conscious – and you become conscious. The issues in your life are presented to you in order to direct your attention in such a way that you do wake up. Pain and discomfort are powerful wake up calls. The problems in our personal lives and in the world are intrinsically designed to awaken us. That is the point

It is not enough to just pay attention to your life, in order to be fully connected, you must also be 100 % responsible for your life.

Every time we blame someone or something for our issues or problems, we not only give our power away, we become disconnected from who we really are.  In order to stay connected, you must be responsible for your life, and everything in it.

The final key to connection is claiming responsibility – your full ability to respond to life.

When you completely own your power, you take responsibility for everything in your experience; this includes everything that directly happens in your life, as well as everything that you are even conscious of in the world. Nothing is happening outside of you; everyone and everything is a reflection of you. This means that there is no blaming others for doing or not doing things – without blaming the world, anger, frustration and a host of other disconnecting/low vibration emotions are no longer provoked.

If something is not working in your life, you must look inside yourself to find the corresponding “inner cause” of outer-trouble, and shift it. From a higher state of consciousness, you find the dis-harmony in yourself and you harmonize it.

Even though you are responsible for your experience of reality, you are not responsible for others. This means that you allow others to be exactly as they are – without trying to fix or change anyone for any reason.

The key to effective self-responsibility is to shift yourself in such a way that the outside world responds accordingly and ultimately becomes more harmonious. You do this by mastering your thoughts and emotions, letting go of negativity, expressing yourself, being at choice in your mind and in your actions, listening to your inner guidance, and always responding from a place of intrinsic power. This is your dynamic recipe for getting connected, being connected and staying connected.

Happy New Year!

As you live your life from the state of wholeness, you gain an abundance of everything truly important in life – that abundance naturally overflows, so that you have enormous gifts to contribute. But of all the gifts the greatest one is showing others, through example, how to connect with who they really are. This is your most sacred purpose.

You make the biggest difference in the world when you live from the exalted state of True Selfhood, and you cherish, nurture and honor this state, above all else. This is what it means to be the change you wish to see in the world!

In grace & gratitude,
Nanice Ellis